Tis the Season to Be Gabby
by jerseygirlinoxford
Summary: The Manoso family welcomes their newest member as they get ready for Christmas. This is a Gabby story that takes place after Gabby Fabulous
1. Chapter 1

**Tis the Season to be Gabby**

By

JerseyGirlinOxford

**Gabriella, Stephanie, and Ricardo Carlos Manoso, Jr**

**Would like to announce the arrival of**

**Ricardo Carlos Manoso, III**

**Born December 23, 2009**

**8 pounds 3 ounces, 21 inches long**

**God Bless Our Family**

**Part One**

Ranger and Stephanie watched their new son as he slept in her arms. Little Ricardo Carlos Manoso, III, was born 26 hours prior. The only negative to their joyous moment was that Gabby wasn't present. Due to the Swine Flu epidemic, no visitors under the age of 18 were allowed in the hospital. Ranger started to contact the Hospital Administrator to complain, but Stephanie stopped him. "I'm doing fine, and so is the baby. I'll ask the doctor if we can go home today. It's not worth the risk," she explained. Ranger had to agree.

"As long as your doctor says that it's okay, Babe, then I'm all for going home today. Besides, it's Christmas Eve. We've got to get our tree decorated. I don't want to disappoint Gabby. Ella helped finish wrapping the gifts and putting up the other decorations. It's going to be a quiet Christmas at home this year," Ranger told her. Stephanie smiled.

"I'm all for that. I don't think I'll have the energy for much else. And, we'll keep the visitors to a minimum. I don't want Little Carlos getting sick," she said.

Once Stephanie got the okay to leave after lunch, Ranger called Lester to bring Gabby when he came to pick them up.

Lester immediately headed up to the 6th floor to get Gabby. She and Ella were making Christmas cookies for Stephanie and Santa….._'cause you gots to leave Santa some Christmist cookies, Uncle Lester, duh! _ Lester smiled at the memory of Gabby's explanation that came complete with a spot-on replication of her mother's eye roll. Lester entered Ella and Luis's apartment and headed for the kitchen. He had to admit….the cookies smelled really good. Gabby stood on the step ladder to reach the counter as she shook green and red sprinkles on the sugar cookies. He put a finger to his lips so Ella wouldn't give away his presence. He grabbed Gabby from behind and listened to her squeal in delight. He loved to hear her laugh. Unfortunately, the holiday sprinkles flew in every direction but the sugar cookies….including his eyes.

"Uncle Lester! You surpriseded me!" He rubbed the confection out of his eyes with his right hand as he scooped her up with his left arm. "How come your eyes is all red and green?" Because you blinded me with that shit, he said to himself. She threw her arms around his neck and smacked on his lips. "I love you, Uncle Lester." Okay…she's forgiven.

"I love you, too, Princess. Are you ready to go and pick up your new brother?" Her little face lit up like a Christmas tree as she bobbed her head up and down.

"Yea! My baby brudder is coming home with Mommy and Daddy. I miss Mommy and Daddy." Lester tugged on one of her pig-tails.

"I know, Princess. But, you'll see them soon." Ella rubbed her back.

"And Mommy and Daddy and your new little brother will be so happy to see you, too," Ella soothed. "Plus, we'll have all those Christmas cookies ready. I'll make you a little baggie so you can take some to the hospital for Mommy…okay?" Again, Gabby nodded and smiled.

"Mommy loves Christmist cookies…just like me." Ella placed a sample of all their hard work into a Zip-lock baggie. Lester put her back on her feet. Out of the blue, Gabby gasped and her little hands flew to her mouth.

"I forgots to gets a present for my baby brudder!" she exclaimed. The bottom lip protruded and began to quiver. Lester knelt down and pulled her close to him.

"Don't worry, Princess. What did you want to get him?" She rubbed the newly formed tears from her eyes.

"I w-wanted to gets a Snoopy f-for him. I know he w-wants one," she sniffled. Lester kissed her cheek.

"How about we stop at the store first? We go buy him a Snoopy, and then go to the hospital. How does that sound?" Lester offered. Ella bit the inside of her cheek and just shook her head. It was Christmas Eve. She would be willing to bet that none of the Merry Men had ever entered a store on Christmas Eve….let alone attempted to pull into a shopping center parking lot around the holidays. Gabby's face lit up the room again.

"Yea! We gonna go to the Snoopy store! They gots lots of kinds of Snoopys there. I gots to gets him a little one a 'cause my baby brudder is little." Lester held out his hand for Gabby to high-five him. She giggled as she smacked his hand.

"And we're gonna get him the bestest one, Princess. Go get your coat and let's go." They watched as her _feets that gots lights on them_ bounded into the living room to grab her coat. Gabby wiggled into her coat then ran back for Ella to zip up the front. She handed Gabby the baggie of Christmas cookies. Lester took her other hand and led her to the door.

"See ya later, Ella. When I come back, I'm gonna be a big sister!" Gabby told her as they left. They took the elevator down to the garage. Ranger already brought the car seat up to the room, but he had to make sure he took the SUV that had the base part already tethered to the back seat. He pulled Gabby's booster seat from the Cayenne and got her set up and buckled in safely.

"Oh…where is this Snoopy store, Princess?" He hoped it wasn't some place in the ass-end of space.

"At the _Caker Ridge_ Mall. The one where Mommy goes all the time," Gabby told him. He smiled to himself. Luckily, he knew were Quakerbridge Mall was, and it wasn't that far.

"Okay…Caker Ridge Mall…here we come!" He pulled out as Gabby cheered and headed to the shopping mall.

Ranger and Stephanie had dozed off while waiting for Gabby and Lester to come and get them. Looking at his watch, he was surprised to see that it was after 3:00. He immediately called Lester. "What's taking so long?" he barked into the phone before Lester could say saying.

"Uh…Gabby wanted to buy something for the baby. The mall was a fffu…uh..zoo. ETA 5 minutes," Lester explained.

"Uncle Lester….you're not aposta talk on the phone and drive at the same time. Duh!" He heard Gabby scolding him in the background.

"Gabby says I gotta get off the phone. We're almost there."

"Affirmative," Ranger said and disconnected. Stephanie looked at him with raised eyebrows. "They're on their way. Lester said Gabby wanted to buy something for the baby." Stephanie smacked her forehead.

"That's right. She's been asking me all week to take her to get a Snoopy for the baby. With trying to get ready for Christmas….and labor….I forgot all about it," she told him. Ranger looked down at the little sleeping bundle in the crib. He kissed the top of her head.

"I think we'll forgive you, Babe." Ranger helped Stephanie up, and they began to get their things together.

Lester was sitting on a couch in the lobby with Gabby across his lap. They were listening intently to a woman arguing with the receptionist. Apparently, she was very upset with the new visitor policy restricting kids under 18. She had what looked to be a 10 year old and a 14 year old with her. She went on and on about the hospital policy and vaccines. They didn't see the nurse wheeling Stephanie and the baby towards them with Ranger right behind.

"Hi Sweet Pea," Steph told her. Gabby whipped her head around, and Lester caught a pig tail in the eye.

"Jesus!" he exclaimed as Gabby jumped off his lap and ran to her mother. He rubbed his eye for the second time that day.

"Mommy!" Gabby climbed onto the side of the wheel chair and smacked on her lips. "I missed you this much." She swung her arms out wide. Ranger knelt down beside them. "Daddy!" She leaned over and kissed him as well.

"This is you new brother, Gabby," Steph said. She held up the baby for Gabby to see. Gabby scrunched up her little face.

"He looks like Diego." It was Ranger's turn to scrunch his face.

"Diego? Who the hell is Diego?" Ranger asked….well…more like demanded. This was _his_ son. Who the hell was this Diego?

"Daddy…you said a bad word," Gabby reminded him. Stephanie tried not to laugh.

"Diego is one of Gabby's favorite cartoons," Stephanie explained with a smile. My son does _not_ look like a friggin' cartoon, Ranger muttered to himself.

"Yeah, Daddy. Go Diego Go. Duh!" Ranger was really starting to hate that word. It was becoming her favorite. That, and she really knew how and when to use it. But, it was better than penis, shit, and mofo, he reminded himself.

"I heard that Uncle Lester took you to the store," Stephanie broke in. Gabby bobbed her head up and down. She ran back to Lester to get the red gift bag. "I gots Diego a Snoopy." She pulled out the little white beagle and held it up for the baby to see. "I gots this for you 'cause you're my baby brudder, and I love you." She stepped onto the foot rest to boost herself up and gave the baby a gentle kiss on the cheek. A tear ran down Stephanie's face. It was such a beautiful Hallmark moment. And it was…until Gabby spoke again. "When we gots to the store, Uncle Lester and me had to wait for some fat-ass to move her car. We waited a _long_ time and sumbinna bitch! Some mook in a little shit-can taked our parkin' place. But don't worry. Uncle Lester let the pixies outta his wheels. Right Uncle Lester?" They all turned to Lester. "How come you all red again?" A sheepish smile appeared on his crimson face as he jammed his hands in his pockets.

"Pixies?" Stephanie asked. Gabby nodded.

"Uncle Lester said he was a mean man that was keepin' pixies in his wheels. So Uncle Lester screwed the caps and let them all fly out. He _saved_ all of those pixies 'cause all the wheels was empty." She looked up at her father. "Pixies are good, Daddy. They're like Tinklebell."

"You let the air out of his tires?" Ranger questioned him through gritted teeth.

"That was _my_ space, Ranger!" Lester insisted. "It was a _friggin'_ mad house there. Jesus! I think everyone in Jersey was at that mall. I had to _schmooze_ some cave woman with a beard to find out where she was parked so we could get her space. She took forever putting her bags in the trunk because she had to stop and look at everything she bought. _And then_ wait till she squeezed her fat-ah…uh…behind into her car. Then…that sneaky little muh….um..man stole that spot!" Gabby and Stephanie looked back and forth between Ranger and Lester.

"See…" Gabby interrupted, "Uncle Lester taked me to get my baby brudder his first Snoopy to show him that I love him this much." Again, Gabby swung her arms out wide. That did it. Ranger melted. He felt like the Grinch whose heart grew three sizes that day. Ranger picked her up and hugged her.

"You're right, Gabby. Uncle Lester was just helping out." He gave a short nod to Lester. "Get the truck so we can go home." He turned back to his family. "We need to decorate the Manoso Christmas tree and get ready for Santa."

"Yea! I love Christmist!" Gabby's eyes grew wide. "Jesus! I forgots Mommy's Christmist cookies in the truck!"

TBC………


	2. Chapter 2

**Tis the Season to be Gabby**

By

JerseyGirlinOxford

A/N: A special prompt was added for Xylia's Most Wonderful Time of the Year Challenge on BabeSquad. I have to do my part to get more chapters of Where's Your Balls.

**Part Two**

Ranger picked up Gabby when he saw Lester pull up in the black SUV. "That's not a nice thing to say, Gabby." Gabby scrunched up her little face.

"Is Jesus a bad word? How can Jesus be a bad word when tomorrow is his burseday?" she asked. The nurse made her obligatory check of the car seat before Steph got out of the wheelchair.

"It's not that Jesus is a bad word," she explained, "it's just that you should only say it when you are praying or talking about Jesus."

"How come?" Ranger opened the back door for Gabby. She immediately climbed in the back to look for the cookies. The nurse took the baby, and Ranger helped Stephanie out of the wheelchair. Gabby handed her the cookies. "Here Mommy…Ella and me made you some Christmist cookies."

"Thank you, Sweet Pea." She knew Gabby wouldn't be satisfied until she ate one…like she would have been able to wait till they got home anyway. Steph moaned after taking a bite. "These are soooo good, Gabby. Santa is really going to love these!" Gabby's face lit up.

"We got lots more at home. We made some for the Merrily Men 'cause they were sad that Daddy is gonna make them eat dead reindeer asses for Christmist dinner!" Gabby hopped onto her booster seat. Lester's shoulders shook as he tried not to laugh. Ram had made the comment that he would rather eat the ass out of a dead reindeer than the healthy crap that Ranger set out for the on-duty staff's Christmas dinner. He didn't realize that Gabby was standing right behind him until she promised him _Christmist_ cookies. Finally, someone else was in trouble and not him.

Ranger's jaw tightened and a large vein distended on his temple. Stephanie took the baby from the nurse's arms and thanked her. She gave him a quick peck on the cheek. She didn't want to touch that comment with a ten foot pole. Ranger's healthy Christmas buffet was nothing but cardboard-tasting crap. If it wasn't for Ella sneaking in a few tasty items, it would have almost been like a punishment for working on Christmas. "But _why_ is Jesus a bad word?" Steph buckled in the baby and then Gabby. Ranger helped her get situated before he got in the passenger seat.

"It's just not nice to use Jesus' name in vain. It's…uh….it's a sin." Gabby offered her another cookie.

"Okay Mommy." She took one for herself. "Can my baby brudder have a cookie?"

"No Sweet Pea. He's too little. He just drinks milk right now," Steph explained. Gabby smiled.

"Was there really a pig in your room?" Both Steph and Ranger frowned as they looked at Gabby. "Some lady was mad a 'cause the hosable polimy said no kids could go upstairs a 'cause of the pig birus. She was mad and said it was a stupid-ass polimy a 'cause her kids gots vaximated. Is that why I had to stay with Ella a 'cause you gots a pig in your room?"

"Gabby," Ranger sighed, "what did we tell you about using that word?" Gabby scrunched her little face in confusion.

"What word, Daddy?" Ranger rubbed his face with his hands. "Pig birus?"

"You know which word…_ass_." Gabby put her hands on her hips and huffed in frustration.

"No…" she insisted talking to Ranger like she was explaining something to a two year old, "you telled me _ass_ and _dumb ass_ was bad words….you never telled me _stupid ass_ was a bad word, Daddy! Duh!" He really, really hated that word now. Mofo was starting to sound a hell of a lot better.

"Okay," Steph interjected. "How about this….anything with the word _ass_ in it counts as a bad word. Does that work for the Manoso family?" Gabby and Ranger nodded in unison.

"That's 'cause we gots to teach my baby brudder not to say bad words….right Daddy?" Ranger turned to face his daughter and smiled. It was so hard to be angry with her. "I love you, Daddy." Real hard!

"There are special times…_when you are older_ …to use bad words like when something bad happens, or someone gets hurt. But you're not old enough to use those words, and it's not nice. Now, we'll get Mommy and the baby home so we can decorate the Christmas tree."

"Yea! Christmist tree! I love you, Daddy!" Gabby applauded then shared another cookie with Steph.

"So what are your plans for tonight, Lester? Does Kym have to work?" Stephanie changed the subject. Lester nodded.

"She's covering part of a shift tonight and has to work 3-11 tomorrow. I'm just going to watch some movies till she gets off work, then she's coming over for a late dinner," Lester told them.

"Are you gonna watch _Sandy Claws Is Cummin'_ ?" Lester's eyes widened, and he slowly turned his head to the side to take a peek at Ranger. The truth was that he _did_ plan to watch that movie…then later reenact the scene where Sandy Claws sits on Santa's face and tells him what she wants for Christmas with Kym. Ranger just stared back with that damn blank face, and his arms crossed.

"Santos," Ranger began, "we _do_ have an employee assistance program that you might want to take advantage of to help you with your porn addiction." If Lester wasn't driving his family, and it wasn't Christmas, and he wasn't on Cloud 9 from the birth of his son, Lester's favorite body part would be in major jeopardy for once again exposing his little girl to porn.

"I _don't_ have a porn addiction!" Lester insisted. "I just can't help myself sometimes." Thank God the Rangeman building was in site. The building had been lit up like Clark Griswold's house in Christmas Vacation.

"What the hell?" Ranger muttered. They must have done this after he and Steph left for the hospital.

"Yea! Christmist lights!" Gabby exclaimed. "And you said a bad word, Daddy. Don't forget Diego is here…duh!"

"Wow," Steph added. "You guys have been busy while we were gone." It really did look nice. So much for keeping a low profile. The crew on the International Space Station was probably radioing into Houston Control to find out what that glare was at that very moment. Steph could tell Ranger was really struggling to stay calm.

"That looks pretty, Daddy. My baby brudder likes it too." The magic of Gabby soothed the Grinch once again. Lester pushed the remote to open the gates as he pulled inside.

"Yes, Gabby. It does look pretty. Santa definitely won't miss this place tonight," Ranger agreed. Neither will commercial aircraft or UFOs, he added to himself. It had been a long day, and all Ranger wanted to do was get his family inside. He still had to get the tree decorated, and after Gabby went to sleep, get the presents set up and under the tree.

While Ella got dinner ready and Ranger went down to 5 to catch up, Stephanie decided to give the baby a bath and changed into a cute little Christmas onesie that she bought. Of course Gabby watched her like a hawk. "Ewe Mommy…what's that?" She pointed to the black and blue belly button.

"That's Little Carlos' belly button. It's going to fall off soon, and it will look like your belly button. Don't worry. It won't hurt." Steph knew it was coming but continued to undress him.

"How come he gots a boo-boo on his penis?"

"When baby boys are born, they have to have a circumcision. He's going to be okay."

"Did Daddy gets a circus decision, too?" Steph nodded. "How come?"

"It's just something we do." Gabby continued to stare at her little brother.

"Diego gots something wrong with his balls, Mommy. He's aposta gots 2 balls, but he only gots one lumpy one," Gabby observed. Stephanie bit her bottom lip to prevent herself from laughing out loud. This was all Ranger needed to hear….someone criticizing his son's equipment.

"Don't worry, Gabby. He's still a baby. Things…uh…will change as he gets older. Can you get me his blanket?"

"I gots something special for Diego!" She watched as her _feets that gots lights in them_ bounded out of the room. Steph knew she was getting her Snoopy blanket. Gabby loved to share with everyone. And for the past two months, sharing with her _baby brudder_ was all she talked about. Steph was right. Gabby ran back in the room with her little Snoopy blanket. "Here Mommy, he can have this."

"Thank you, Sweet Pea." She swaddled Little Carlos and they headed back into the living room. Ranger had the tree all set up. He just needed to string up the lights so he and Gabby could put on the decorations. They heard the front door open and close, then Ranger appeared.

"Hi Daddy! Diego gots a lumpy ball," Gabby informed him. "And he gots a band-aid on his circus decision." Ranger shot Stephanie a questioning look with an eye brow raised.

"Babe," he sighed.

"Gabby helped me change Little Carlos. She doesn't like his belly button either." Stephanie eased on to the couch. She was looking forward to a quiet night. Some of the Merry Men would be in and out, and tomorrow they would have company. Ranger's mother, her parents, Grandma Mazur, Tank, Lula, and TJ would be coming for dinner. Albert was just getting over the Swine Flu so Ranger put his foot down that they couldn't come. She wasn't going to argue over that one either. They decided they would have a nice Christmas dinner after the holidays when everyone could be together.

"Can we decorate the tree now, Daddy?" Ranger scooped her up and she smacked on his lips. He rubbed his nose on hers, causing her to giggle. Even though now he had a son, it could never replace the relationship he had with his little girl.

"Let me get the lights on first. Next, we'll eat dinner. Then….we can decorate the tree. How does that sound?" Gabby bobbed her head up and down.

"Word!" Then, she flashed a gang sign. Ranger closed his eyes and counted to ten. He was wrong. Duh was starting to sound a lot better. He put her back on her feet. "You take care of Mommy while I put these lights on."

"Okay, Daddy." She curled up on the couch next to Stephanie and her brother. Stephanie put the TV on to watch the Christmas cartoon specials. Ranger began to check the bulbs on the light strands. Once he was satisfied everything was in working order, he grabbed the step ladder so he could reach the top of their ten foot tree.

Little Carlos began to fuss. "What's wrong with him, Mommy?" Gabby's eyes were like saucers.

"I think he's just hungry. Could you grab me a cloth diaper from that bag?" Stephanie pointed to the diaper bag on the floor by the kitchen.

"Okay Mommy." While Gabby was getting the diaper, Stephanie opened her shirt and undid the cup to the nursing bra. She positioned Little Carlos over her breast, and he began to feed. She looked up when she heard her daughter gasp. "Mommy…why is Diego kissin' your booby?" Steph was already prepared for this answer. No matter how discreet she could be, there was no way she could hide this from Gabby.

"Remember when I told you that he only can drink milk?" Gabby nodded. She heard a pause in the rustling of the pine needles so she knew Ranger was listening. "Well my breasts are making special milk so he can grow big and healthy. Once he gets a little older, he will drink from a bottle and then start to eat baby food." It looked as if a light bulb went on over her head as she took in this information.

"Is that why Daddy is big and healfy? Cause he kisses your boobies all the time?" There was a yell…no…a growl…followed by a crash and a thud. Ranger had been listening to the conversation while he leaned over towards the tree a little too far. He lost his balance with the booby comment.

Gabby gasped as she brought her little hands to her mouth. "Mommy…is it time to say a bad word now? Or take Jesus' veins? Daddy falled on the Christmist tree!" Stephanie and Gabby heard Ranger cursing up a storm.

"I don't think so Sweet Pea," Stephanie replied. "I think Daddy is saying enough bad words for all of us. Can you hand me that phone?" Gabby ran to get the cordless phone from the kitchen.

"Here you go, Mommy." Stephanie called the Control Room.

"Hey Junior. Can you send someone up here? Ranger's stuck in the Christmas tree….thanks." She put the phone on the coffee table as she draped the diaper over her shoulder and covered her nursing son. "Are you okay?" she asked Ranger.

A single grunt and another expletive told her that he was. Lester and Woody were at the door a few minutes later, and Gabby ran to let them inside. "Daddy falled on the Christmist tree, Uncle Lester!" He picked her up and carried her over to where Ranger was stuck in the branches. Somehow, the back of Ranger's belt got caught on a large branch that was preventing him from getting up. Before Woody freed him, Gabby squirmed out of Lester's arms.

"Wait! I gots to take a picture!" She ran to get their Kodak Easyshare camera.

"No Gabby!" Ranger called after her…his voice muffled by the pine needle branches. "You don't need to take a picture of Daddy!" Christ...that would be all he needed. They already had the Coolio/Sid Vicious as the Joker pictures, next to Lester inside Mayor McCheese, which was next to Tank in the pink drag outfit. Flash bulb….too late. He would just have to erase that one later.

"Okay…now you can help Daddy up," Gabby instructed. Woody cut the branch with his pocket knife, and Lester helped him up. "Are you okay Daddy? You said a lot of bad words before." He patted the top of her head.

"I'm okay." He looked ruefully down at the broken tree. One whole side was flat. Woody and Lester helped him get it back in the stand and stabilized.

"Oh!" Gabby whined. "Daddy breaked the Christmist tree! Now Santa's not going to come here!" The bottom lip quivered, and the tears fell. Ranger wanted to crawl into the hole in the tree.

"Nah, Princess," Lester told her as he knelt down beside her. "Once you get the lights and decorations on the tree, Santa won't know the difference."

"Yeah," Woody piped in. "Santa wouldn't dare not come to Ranger's house on Christmas Eve. Besides…the building's lit up like Yankee Stadium…he can't miss it." Woody and Lester turned the tree so the offensive side wouldn't show. "See? Looks better already." Gabby wiped the rest of the tears from her eyes.

"We'll help your Daddy get the lights on, and it will be as good as new," Lester added.

"Are you sure Santa won't be mad?" Lester smiled and shook his head.

"No way, Princess. **What**…are you kiddin' me? Santa won't be mad. **This is the most wonderful time of the year.** How could he be mad when you made all those special Christmist cookies for him? That's what Santa really wants. He's a fat man, Princess. Fat men eat a lot of cookies," Lester explained. This brought that heart-melting smile to Gabby's face. Lester just saved himself from a major beating, Ranger said to himself. As much as he screwed up around Gabby, he always came through for her in the end.

Woody and Lester helped Ranger finish putting on the lights when Ella arrived with dinner. "Guess what Ella?" Gabby yelled as she ran over to her. Here it comes, Ranger thought, she's going to tell her all about how he fell and got stuck in the tree. "You don't gots to cook for my baby brudder 'cause he drinks booby milk!" The sensation of fingernails on a chalkboard once again wracked his body. Yep…mofo, shit, and penis were sounding a _whole_ lot better now. Fo shizzle.

**TBC……..**


	3. Chapter 3

**Tis the Season to be Gabby**

By

JerseyGirlinOxford

A/N: A special prompt was added for Xylia's Most Wonderful Time of the Year Challenge on BabeSquad. We want more of Where's Your Balls.

**Part Three**

After dinner, Steph needed to pump so she let Gabby hold the baby. Ranger stared at his children. He couldn't believe how complete his life was. He had a gorgeous wife and two beautiful children. "Daddy?"

"What Gabby?"

"He don't do much. All he does is sleep and kiss Mommy's boobies. He can't even eat Christmist cookies." Ranger sighed.

"He's just a baby, Gabby. Before you know it, he'll be walking and talking then he'll be able to play with you," he explained.

"Really?" Ranger nodded. "I love my baby brudder. But, his penis is a lot smaller than TJ's." Ranger furrowed his brow. He didn't know which was worse. Gabby _insulting_ the size of his son's penis or that his three and a half year old daughter was _comparing_ penises. He didn't think defending his son's manhood and explaining that it was going to get bigger was the right thing to say. Luckily, Steph had finished and come back into the living room. "What you got Mommy?" Steph had two small baby jars of breast milk.

"This is more milk for the baby, Sweet Pea," she explained. Good, Ranger thought, something to take her mind off penis inspection. Steph put the jars in the refrigerator. She paused in the doorway to take in the scene of Gabby holding the baby. "Hold on a second. I have to get a picture of this." She got the camera and took several pictures of Gabby and Little Carlos. Then, she took some of Ranger, Gabby, and Little Carlos. Ranger switched places and took pictures of Steph with the children.

Forgotten were the profanity, the fall into the Christmas tree, and the critique of his son's genitals. This was a special time with his family. And, he still had a special surprise. The Merry Men all chipped in and had gotten Gabby a Christmas present. Santos volunteered to dress as Santa to surprise Gabby. He didn't even tell Stephanie so it would be a surprise for her, too. "Let's get this tree decorated, Gabby," Ranger said.

"Yea! Christmist tree!" Gabby ran over to the box of decorations. She reached in and pulled out a metallic blue ornament. "Look Daddy…I gots a blue ball. Do you gots blue balls, too?" Ranger cringed. Stephanie snorted.

"Yeah…for about 6 weeks," Stephanie muttered under her breath. Gabby looked in both boxes and giggled.

"Just like the Merrily Men says….you gots alotta balls, Daddy!" She turned to Steph. "Mommy….we gots _balls_ on our Christmist tree!" Then, Gabby squealed with delight.

"Just keep the balls on the tree, Sweet Pea," Steph sighed. Good thing Grandma Mazur didn't teach her any innuendo about the candy canes. Little Carlos was sound asleep so Steph went to put him down in his crib. She turned on the stereo and played Christmas music as they finished decorating the tree. It did have that Charlie Brown Christmas tree vibe, but it was still beautiful. Gabby was pleased so that was all that mattered. Stephanie set out the little snack table that was especially for Santa's cookies and treats for the reindeer. "Gabby? Go get the special plates and cup."

"Okay Mommy." She ran into the dining room to get them out of the bottom of the hutch. A few minutes later, Gabby put out the special plate for Santa's cookies, his special milk cup, and a special bowl for the reindeer treats. Then, she ran into the kitchen to get the cookies. Ella helped her make the special Santa cookies. '_Only_ _Santa can eat these cookies_,' she told anyone that would listen. Which was pretty much everyone because nobody ever ignored Gabby. Actually, Ranger was the lucky one who got to eat those cookies. He would eat the cookies, leave one with a bite taken from it, drink the milk, and eat the beef jerky and carrots sticks for the reindeer. After looking at all the presents under the tree, it was the next thing that Gabby would check. Eating that crap was worth the look on her face.

Ranger picked up Gabby then put his arm around Stephanie as they admired their tree. Gabby leaned over and whispered in his ear. "I don't think Santa's gonna know you breaked our tree, Daddy, so it's okay. I still love you." Ranger kissed her cheek.

"I love you too, Gabby." There was a knock at the door. Santos was on time for once. "I think you should get that." He let her down, and she flew to the door. Stephanie gave Ranger a confused look.

"Who is that?" Ranger pulled her close and kissed her. "You'll see." Gabby opened the door to find Santa/Santos.

"Santa! Oh em gee! Mommy….Daddy…it's Santa!" Gabby shouted with glee. She grabbed him by the hand and led him inside. Ram, Woody, and Hal were right behind him. Stephanie glanced over at Ranger and smiled.

"Ho Ho Ho!" Santos bellowed. "Have you been a good girl this year, Prin…uh…Gabby?" He sat on the couch and pulled Gabby on to his lap. Gabby's head bobbed up and down.

"Uh huh. I made you Christmist cookies, Santa," Gabby told him. Steph went and got the camera again. She took pictures of Gabby with Santa. "Where's your reindeers?"

"Oh..uh…I left them on the roof. They're not housebroken. I don't think your Dad would like reindeer ph…uh…._tinkle_ all over the floor," Lester told her.

"Ewe! Daddy…the reindeers are tinkling on the roofs!" Gabby told him as she looked up at the ceiling.

Lester grabbed Steph's hand and pulled her onto his lap. "So what do you want little girl?" Again, Gabby covered her mouth and giggled.

"She's not a little girl, Santa, that's my Mommy!" she explained. Ranger took pictures of his 'girls' with Santa. Steph jumped up.

"Hold on a second," she told them. "Let me get the baby. I want a picture of him on Santa's lap." They took more pictures of Gabby and Little Carlos with Santa. Then, Ranger took more of Steph and the kids.

"Daddy…now you gots to sit on Santa's lap," Gabby commanded. Ranger almost gagged. Lester cleared his throat.

"That's okay Prin…uh..Gabby," Lester began, " Santa doesn't need a fat man on his lap. Ho..Ho…JESUS!!!!" Ranger had dropped himself onto Lester's lap hard.

"Are you prayin', Santa?" Gabby asked. Lester sucked in a deep breath and nodded.

"Uh…yeah….Jesus! It's okay because tomorrow is his birthday," Lester hoarsely replied. Gabby nodded.

"Happy Burseday, Jesus! Just don't take his veins a 'cause it's a sin. Right Mommy?" Stephanie bent over and kissed the top of her head.

"That's right, Sweet Pea." Ranger gave a none-so-gentle hop on Lester's lap before he got back on his feet. Lester took a minute to massage his thigh before speaking again.

"I just wanted to take a break and get some Christmist cookies before I got back on the road. I was blinded by the Rangeman building and thought this would be a good place to stop." Stephanie snickered but quickly covered her mouth when Ranger shot her a sideways glance. "But, I think these guys have something for you." He looked to the front door. Bobby drove in a motorized black Hummer. He could barely get his ass in open top, and he had to hold his legs out to the side. Ranger captured the moment with the camera. More memories to add to the Wall of Shame.

"Merry Christmist, Gabby," Bobby told her. Gabby's eyes were almost as wide as her opened mouth.

"Merry Christmist!" Ram, Woody, and Hal echoed. Gabby looked back and forth between Ranger and Steph. The black Hummer was adorned with Rangeman decals.

"Whoa!" she exclaimed. Bobby tried to get up but his ass was stuck in the seat. Ram and Hal each grabbed an arm and pulled him up. Once freed, Bobby patted the seat.

"Here you go, Gabby." Ram picked her up and set her in the Hummer. Bobby spent the next few minutes showing her the controls. It wasn't long before she was speeding around the apartment. Steph made sure she caught that 200 watt smile like her father's in pictures.

"That was so sweet of you guys!" Steph told them. "She loves it." Ram's phone rang. There was an alarm, and they had to leave. Woody handed the baby back to Steph then they each gave Gabby a quick kiss and hug before heading out the door.

"Thank you!" Gabby yelled after them. Lester helped himself to the cookies on the Santa plate and then sipped the milk. It tasted like shit. Damn Ranger and his skim milk! He looked over his shoulder and saw Ranger and Steph busy watching Gabby. He spit the milk back into the cup. He glanced at his watch. It was almost time for Kym to get off work. Time to go. He walked over to Steph and Ranger.

"It's time to get back to work. I don't want to be late for Mrs. Claus now," he joked. Steph gave him a hug.

"Thanks, Lester," she whispered. "This was a really great surprise." Lester hugged her tight.

"You're welcome, Beautiful. Anything for Gabby…you know that," he whispered back. He shook Ranger's hand. "Merry Christmist!" Gabby ran into his open arms.

"I almost forgots! Did you remember my baby brudder? He just came outta my Mommy's 'gina yesterday so he didn't have time to gived you his Christmist list!" Gabby's lower lip protruded. "I love Diego even though he gots a lumpy ball."

"Oh don't worry about that Prin…uh…Gabby. Santos knows everything. I mean…I'm Santa. I have a memory like an elephant. I got _Lumpy Ball_ covered," Lester told her. Gabby looked over at Ranger and gasped.

"Daddy! Santa knows about Diego's lumpy ball! But, it's okay a 'cause Santa didn't forgets him." Gabby sounded relieved. Lester put her down.

"Well…I got to get these presents delivered. Remember Gabby…I can't come back until you fall asleep!" He headed for the door.

"Wait!" Gabby yelled and ran after him. Lester turned and knelt down. She threw her arms around him. "I love you, Uncle Lester." Lester stiffened.

"No Princess…um…I mean Gabby. I'm Santa." Gabby rolled her eyes.

"I knowed it's you, Uncle Lester. I smelled you. You smell like Calbin Clime." She hugged him again. This time, he squeezed her tight. "You always smell good, Uncle Lester." She pulled his beard down and smacked on his lips. "Merry Christmist…I love you." Lester kissed her back.

"I love you, too, Princess. Merry Christmist." He got up, rubbed the top of her head, then left.

"How did you know that was Uncle Lester?" Steph asked.

"I smelled his Calbin Clime. Just like Daddy smells like Booger Gary. Daddy smells good too," Gabby explained.

"Well," Steph began, "why don't you get ready for bed? It's been a long day, and we're all tired. And Santa won't come until you are asleep." Gabby ran to the kitchen to get more cookies to restock the plate. Then, she hopped in her Hummer and drove to her room. Ranger shook his head.

"Why do I get the feeling that a drum set would have been a better gift?" he joked.

Stephanie walked over to him with Little Carlos in her arms. **Pointing up, she said, "****I think that's mistletoe you're standing under." Then she kissed him.** "Merry Christmas, Ranger." He glanced down at his son, then he kissed her back.

"Merry Christmas, Babe."

Stephanie went to feed Little Carlos while Ranger tucked Gabby in bed. She fell asleep before he finished reading her the _Grinch That Stole Christmas_. He kissed her forehead then turned out the light. He still had to get all the presents ready for the morning. Unlike her mother, Gabby was an early riser like him. He put out all the presents. Then, Ranger went to the kitchen to put on the tea kettle. He grabbed a cookie off Santa's plate. He was going to have to eat all that crap so he might as well get it over with. He ate the cookies and left one behind with the bite mark. He ate the carrot sticks next followed by the jerky. The jerky tasted a little weird, but he finished it anyway. Shit…the milk! He downed it in one gulped then gagged. Ugh…it was warm. Warm skim milk did not go great with beef jerky and carrots. But, it made Gabby happy. That was all the mattered.

Ranger had the tea ready by the time Steph finished feeding the baby, changing his diaper, and putting him in his crib. "What's this?" Ranger patted the seat next to him.

"I thought you could use it," he told her with his wolfish grin. She sat down and snuggled next to him. As she sipped her tea, they admired their Christmas tree.

"This has been a wonderful day," she said. "Did you ever think that we would wind up like this after that day we met in the diner?"

"I don't know if I ever expected this," Ranger replied, "but I'll tell you what, Babe. I fell in love with you that first day we met." She squeezed his hand.

"You still have to wait 6 weeks you know." Ranger groaned.

"I guess Santa Claus _isn't_ cummin' this year," he sighed. "I hate to say this…but, my daughter was right about the blue balls."

"Out of the mouths of babes…."

**TBC……..**

Gabby just didn't want to stop talking so what was planned as a long one shot has now become a 4 part story. Still to come….Christmist Day!


	4. Chapter 4

**Tis the Season to be Gabby**

By

JerseyGirlinOxford

**Part Four**

Despite an eventful Christmas Eve, Christmas morning was more subdued. Gabby awoke at Oh-Four-Thirty-Seven. Instead of her usual method of running into their bedroom, she drove her new Hummer and honked the horn. Ranger and Stephanie were both startled awake. "Come on, sleepin' heads! It's Christmist…Santa bringed us presents!" Ranger rubbed his face with both hands as he watched the tail lights of the Hummer fade as she rode back to the living room.

"I think I _will_ feed them reindeer asses today," he muttered to Stephanie as flopped back in the bed laughing.

"Look who's complaining," Steph replied. "Your mother told me all about you being 10 times worse than Gabby on Christmas morning." Ranger smirked.

"I'll have to have a talk with Mama today. That information was classified." He leaned over and kissed her. "Merry Christmas, Babe." The horn from the Hummer blasted again.

"Hurry up! We'll miss Christmist!" Gabby's voice echoed through the apartment.

"She gets more like you every day," Steph said as she yawned and stretched. Ranger raised one eye brow. "She can be very demanding."

"Hmmm? I thought you _liked_ it when I was _demanding_," he teased. "I'll remind you in 5 weeks and 6 days." This time, Steph raised both eye brows. "Yes…I'm counting."

An hour later, the living room was a sea of Christmas wrappings. Stephanie and Ranger began to straighten up and found Gabby sound asleep in the Christmas morning mess. Her little butt was up in the air, and she was snuggled with her Snoopy. "Now that looks tempting," Steph sighed. Ranger gently picked her up.

"Why don't both my girls go take a little nap?" Ranger suggested as he nudged Stephanie towards the bedroom. "I'll finish up in here, and then I can spend some time with my son."

"Wake me up if he gets too fussy," she agreed as she climbed back in bed. Ranger placed the sleeping Gabby next to her. He hurried back to clean, then relaxed in his favorite chair with his son in his arms. Ranger swallowed hard. He still had a touch of heartburn from the jerky from last night.

Ranger didn't realize that he had started to doze off until the phone rang. It was his mother. She was still coming but wanted to let him know that his father's sister, Augusta, insisted on coming along. Ranger's father had passed away a while back. Needless to say, Aunt Augusta, or Aunt Gussy, was not his favorite. Their mother, Abuela Rosa, tended to favor Ranger more than any of her other grandchildren. There was some animosity about this over the years, but Aunt Gussy refused to let it go. Reluctantly, Ranger agreed. It was Christmas after all, and they were celebrating the birth of their son. Maybe it was time to bring the family together and move forward. Yeah…and monkeys might fly out of his butt! Who was he trying to kid? Aunt Gussy always had a snide remark for everything. His mother told him that Aunt Gussy said this could be her last Christmas and wanted to see the new baby. Yeah…right! They wouldn't be that lucky. Aunt Gussy had been _dying_ for the last five years.

Ranger decided it was time to face the music. He needed to get Steph up anyway. Thank God, Ella and Luis were around to help with dinner. They didn't have children of their own and were a part of the family. In addition to his mother and aunt, Steph's parents and grandmother, Tank, Lula, and TJ, and Lester were coming to an early dinner. With his beautiful son still in his arms, he headed to the bedroom to wake up his girls. He sat on the edge of the bed, and with one hand, brushed the hair off Stephanie's forehead. She began to stir. Gabby was snuggled into her side with an arm draped over her stomach.

Stephanie opened her eyes to see the warm brown ones of her husband. Their son was sleeping in his lap. "Have a good nap, Babe?" She nodded.

"Has he been good?" Ranger nodded. Now, Gabby began to stir. "Hi Sweet Pea." Gabby yawned.

"Hi Mommy!" She sat up when she saw Ranger and Little Carlos. "Hi Daddy! Hi Diego!" Ranger inwardly groaned. The idea of comparing his son to a cartoon character did not please him. Gabby played the DVDs for him, and he begrudgingly noticed the similarities. Whatever! His son probably had a bigger penis than that damn cartoon.

"I got a call from Mama this morning," he began. Steph's eyes widened.

"Is she not coming?"

"No…no…she's still coming. But…." Ranger trailed off.

"No," Stephanie groaned. She knew what Ranger was hesitating to say.

"Aunt Gussy is coming with her," Ranger told them.

"Oh!" Gabby whined. "I don't like Aunt Gutsy. She smells like a moff's ball!"

"_Moth_ balls, Sweet Pea," Steph corrected.

"Aunt Gutsy always calls Daddy that stupid name….._Ree-kart-o_. Daddy's name is _Ran-_ger. Duh!" Stephanie put an arm around her.

"Gabby…I need you to do a favor for me."

"A favor? I like favors!" Ranger and Steph smirked.

"I know Aunt Gussy isn't the most happy person in the world, but since it's Christmas, I want everyone to be nice to her. She's a very lonely person, and her kids are all grown up and too busy to visit with her."

"Her kids are like a demon's porn…right Daddy?" Ranger sighed.

"Demon _spawn_," Stephanie corrected her again. "But that's besides the point. Can you help us and try to make Aunt Gussy have a special Christmas?" Gabby nodded.

"Okay Mommy, I'll be nice to Aunt Gutsy. Maybe if I gived her some Christmist cookies, it would make her feel better!" Gabby offered. They would never get over her loving nature. She certainly didn't get it from either of them.

"That's my girl," Ranger told her.

"And, we can showed her Diego's lumpy ball and circus revision," she continued. "That should make her laugh, too." Ranger's jaw set tight. No one was going to laugh at his son's junk. Stephanie must have picked up on the fact that he was not pleased because she gave him a kiss.

"Can you help Gabby get washed up and dressed? I'll feed him then get ready myself." He nodded and handed over the baby.

"Come on, Gabby. Let's go get ready." He braced himself for the Gabby projectile that hurled herself at him.

"I love you, Daddy." She smacked on his lips. Damn! She was a secret weapon. No matter what she did or how mad he got….the power of the love he had for his daughter was more powerful than the Force. And…it turned him into Obi Wuss Kenobi.

It was finally time for the guests to arrive. Frank, Helen, and Grandma Mazur were the first to arrive with Tank, Lula, and TJ right behind them. Frank was thrilled with his first grandson. "You done good, Pumpkin," he told Steph as he took the baby from her arms.

"Thanks Daddy."

"Wait till you see that he gots a lumpy ball, Grampa!" Gabby interjected. "Do you gots a circus revision, too?" Both Gabby and Grandma Mazur waited for his answer with eyebrows raised.

"A what?" Frank asked with a frown. Ranger dropped his head and sighed. Steph held back a snort.

"She wants to know if you've been cut, Frank," Grandma Mazur explained. Frank paled. "Well? Have you? My daughter wouldn't tell me."

"Mother!" Helen cried. "This is Christmas. Please control yourself!"

"I don't know what's wrong with you people," Lula huffed. "We ain't cut nuthin' off Tank Junior. I didn't want him ending up like Morelli. I heard he only got a nub left." Before Gabby could comment on that, Stephanie intervened.

"Gabby? Why don't you show Grandma Mazur what Santa brought for you?" Gabby's face lit up, and she ran over to Grandma Mazur.

"Come on, Grammy Mazur!" She grabbed her hand. "Santa buyed me lots of presents." Helen went to help Ella in the kitchen. Steph and Lula fawned over their sons as Ranger and Tank looked on. Luis was working on a problem in the basement and would be up later for dinner. The control room buzzed Ranger to let him know that his family arrived. A few minutes later, Ranger's mother, Lourdes, and Aunt Gussy entered the apartment.

"Nannah!" Gabby squealed. "Um…Fleece Nahbidah!" Lourdes scooped Gabby into her arms and hugged her. "I love you, Nannah!"

"Te amo, Gabriella!" she replied. "Feliz Navidad." Ranger walked over to greet him mother.

"Feliz Navidad, Mama," he told her, and he gave her a hug and a kiss. "Hello Aunt Gussy." Aunt Gussy nodded as she thrust her coat at him.

"Here…put this away for me," she commanded. Ranger bit the inside of his mouth as he took the coat. Her eyes narrowed as Steph walked over with the baby. "Wow…you really put on a lot of weight this time. It's going to be harder to lose now that you are older."

"She just had the baby 2 days ago, Aunt Gussy," Ranger defended Steph.

"Yeah," Gabby added as she patted her rather rotund belly. "When are all those babies you gots in your belly gonna come outta your 'gina, Aunt Gutsy?"

"Augusta!" Lourdes interrupted, "you promised!" Ranger handed Gabby her coat.

"Gabby? Can you put this on our bed?" Gabby nodded as she wrapped her arms around the coat. She took a few sniffs.

"Ewe…this stinks like moss balls!" Before Gabby could expand on her thoughts, Ranger herded her towards the master bedroom.

"Mama…come see our son." Steph kissed Lourdes on the cheek.

"Congratulations, Estafina! Oh…he is beautiful. He looks so much like Gabriella!" she gushed.

"What did you name him Ricardo?" Aunt Gussy asked.

"We named him after his father of course. Ricardo Carlos Manoso, the 3rd," Stephanie replied with a smile. Gussy harrumphed.

"You should have named him after _my_ father. No one yet has honored my father by naming their sons after him," Gussy complained.

"I wanted to honor my father, Aunt Gussy," Ranger explained. By this time, Gabby had rejoined them.

"You should have named him Jesus," Gussy insisted.

"Hay Seuss?" Gabby asked in confusion. "I don't want a baby brudder with a stupid name like Hay Seuss! His name is Diego. That's more better!" Stephanie couldn't hold back the snort this time and ignored the evil eye from Aunt Gussy.

"No Sweet Pea…that's Spanish for Jesus. Daddy's grandfather's name was Jesus," Stephanie told her. Gabby rolled her eyes.

"We can't call my baby brudder Jesus!" she insisted. "I'm not _aposta_ to say Jesus unless I'm prayin', or it's a sin. I gots to call my baby brudder somethin', Aunt Gutsy! Duh!" For the first time, Ranger actually enjoyed hearing Gabby '_duh'_ someone else for a change.

"Damn White Girl!" Lula broke in. "You're right about this one. She does need to get laid. Maybe you should give her some of Gabby and Lester's porn movies." With another nasty look, Augusta waved them off.

"Ricardo….get me a drink," she told him as she stomped off to sit in the living room. Gabby rolled her eyes and looked at her mother.

"See? She did it _again_!" Ranger went to get Augusta her drink, when Lester arrived. "Uncle Lester!" She ran over to his waiting arms. "Merry Christmist!"

"Same to you, Princess. Did the real Santa come last night?" Gabby's head bobbed up and down, and she broke into her 200 watt grin.

"Uh huh. And Santa eated all his Christmist cookies and drinked his special milk," she told him. Lester remembered that nasty skim milk. Knowing Ranger, it was probably that lactose-free shit, too. Ranger returned and gave Augusta her drink. "I gived Santa Diego's booby milk a 'cause I want Santa to grow big and healfy." Both Lester and Ranger gagged. Stephanie covered her mouth to attempt to stifle the laughter. Tank roared.

"And you drank it!" Tank howled as he held his side. Lula smacked her lips.

"I don't know why you laughin'. When I was feedin' Tank Junior I would squirt a little in yo coffee every mornin'." Now Tank gagged.

"No…_Santa_ drinked the booby milk, and his reindeers eated the Puppermony," Gabby insisted. Ranger frowned.

"What kind of jerky was that?" he asked her. Gabby smiled.

"Puppermony….like the doggies eat on TV," she told him cheerfully. "The reindeers like them more better than your ones, Daddy." Ranger put a hand to his chest as he headed for the bathroom. Breast milk and dog treats! Christ…no wonder he had such bad heartburn. He needed some Tums or Zantac bad!

Grandma Mazur walked behind Aunt Gussy and gave her the finger. Gabby giggled. "I can do that too, Grammy Mazur! Look! UGH!!!" Gabby gave Gussy the Lula double fingered special. Lula looked at Steph and smiled.

"She good," Lula said.

"Well! I never!" Gussy huffed. Grandma Mazur smirked.

"And that's your problem," Grandma Mazur told her. She handed her a Christmas present. "Here…I got this for my granddaughter, but it looks like you could use it more. It's the Herbert Horsecock special."

"Mother!" Helen and Ella were taking in the scene from the doorway to the kitchen. Ranger frowned again. It was a little insulting to think that Stephanie would need a vibrator being married to him.

"I'm not knockin' your Cuban Hottie. There's no doubt he's got a great package that I'd love to get my hands on, but I know the drill. You can't get any for 6 weeks. I thought this would hold you over," she explained to Stephanie.

"5 weeks and 6 days," Stephanie corrected. "He's counting." Gussy tossed the package onto the seat next to her as if it burned her. Gabby looked over at her father.

"Daddy? Did you gets another present from Santa?"

Ranger shook his head. "No, we opened all Santa's presents this morning. Remember?"

"Grammy Mazur says that you gots a great package that she wants to gets her hand on. Can I help? I like wrapping Christmist presents!"

"You people are disgusting and low class," Gussy announced. "I don't know why I even bothered to come here today." Lourdes had enough.

"Augusta! You promised me that you would behave if I brought you here. Maybe you should have spent Christmas with your own children since you feel that strongly," Lourdes scolded her.

"You mean Aunt Gutsy shoulda had Christmist with the Demon's porn?" Gabby asked. Then, Gabby remembered that her mother wanted everyone to be nice to Aunt Gutsy because she was lonely and no one liked her. She ran and got some of her cookies. "Here Aunt Gutsy…have some Christmist cookies and maybe people will like you." Gussy took the cookies and tossed them onto the coffee table. Gabby was crushed. Her lower lip began to quiver and the tears followed.

"Oh no she didn't!" Lula erupted. "Come on, Little Batgirl. I have to change TJ. I'll let you look at his penis again." She held out her hand, and Gabby took it.

"Okay," she sniffled as she wiped her eyes with the back of her other hand. Ranger cringed again. Stephanie walked over to Gussy.

"I asked Gabby to be nice to you. I am nice to you because you are Ranger's family. But if you treat my daughter like that again, I will break my foot off in your ass. I don't care if you are older than dirt." Lester had joined Frank on the couch and watched the show. Gussy looked flabbergasted. Stephanie had never spoken to her like that before. "I will give you one more chance. Either you stop acting like a bitch and join us for Christmas dinner, or you can leave now. I'll pay for a cab so Mama can stay. The choice is yours!" Gussy looked at all the angry eyes focused on her.

"I'll stay," she replied. "But this is the last time I'm coming here."

Lourdes mouthed, I'm sorry, to her son. Ella announced that dinner was ready. Ranger pulled Stephanie into a hug.

"I'm sorry, Babe. I should have said no. It's my fault I ruined Diego's first Christmas." He kissed her forehead.

"It's not your fault. And do you realize you called him Diego?" Shit! He called his son a cartoon character, his daughter was comforted by viewing a penis, he drank his son's booby milk, and ate dog treats….and no sex for five weeks and six days. Some Christmas…..HO Fucking HO!

While they were drinking coffee and eating dessert, Gabby was showing Grandma Mazur all her new toys. Luis had to eat and run. If it wasn't a problem with the heating system, Ranger would have insisted he stay. Gussy decided to isolate herself from everyone and sat in the corner of the living room. That suited Ranger just fine. The group seemed more relaxed without her. Ranger heard the whine of the motorized Hummer. Sure enough, Gabby was driving Grandma Mazur into the dining room.

"Isn't this a pip?" Grandma Mazur called to them as they whizzed by. The smile on Gabby's face was back. It appeared that the insults from Gussy were long forgotten, and Gabby was enjoying her Christmas once again. Even though Stephanie's family was a little crazy, they loved Gabby. His family loved Gabby. Aunt Gussy on the other hand…hated everyone. He knew why she insisted on coming. Her own kids didn't even want her. Shit…he couldn't blame them.

All of a sudden, there was a scream, a thud, and a crash. Gabby ran into the dining room. "Oh Em Gee! I teachded Grammy Mazur to drived the Hummers and summbinna bitch! Aunt Gutsy gots in the way, and Grammy Mazur runned her over. Aunt Gutsy breaked our Christmist tree!" Ranger, Tank, and Lester jumped up and ran to the location of the continued screams. Steph, Lourdes, Lula, Helen, Ella, and Gabby followed. "See?"

"This thing is pretty solid," Grandma Mazur told them. "Didn't even get a scratch. Don't worry, Gabby, your Hummer is okay." Lester and Tank lifted the tree off Gussy while Ranger helped her to her feet.

"Are you okay, Aunt Gussy?" Ranger asked. He was using his legendary self control not to laugh. Yeah, Grandma Mazur was a little wacky, a lot creepy, and wanted to get her hands on his dick, but she was fiercely protective of her family. Kind of like the old rich lady in that movie _Arthur_. Gussy shook the cobwebs out of her head.

"I think I need to sit for a minute," she told him as Ranger helped her to the nearest chair.

"What happened?" Stephanie asked. Grandma Mazur shrugged.

"I don't know. We were coming around Turn One and son of a bitch! She just jumped in front of us." Gabby nodded in agreement.

"I was going to the bathroom!" Gussy insisted. "And this crazy woman ran me down." Lourdes sighed.

"I think it's time for us to go. I'll come back in a few days to visit," she said. "Come on, Augusta, let's go."

"Gabby? Can you go get Aunt Gussy's and Nannah's coats?" Ranger asked her. She nodded and hopped into her Hummer. She was back in a flash with the coats in the little cargo area. Hmmm…that thing could come in handy after all.

"Here's your moss balls, Aunt Gutsy," Gabby told her as she handed Gussy her coat. They said their goodbyes, and then Ranger walked his mother to the car. Gabby surveyed the damage to the tree. "Oh….we don't gots a Christmist tree again!"

"Hang on, Princess," Lester comforted her. "We'll be right back." He nodded for Tank to follow him. Steph and Lula exchanged confused looks.

"Gabby…let's go for another ride," Grandma Mazur offered. Frank shook his head.

"You've done enough damage tonight, old lady," he declared. "I think it's time for us to go too. Stephanie needs some rest." A few minutes later, Ranger, Tank, and Lester returned with the decorated tree from the lobby. Tank moved the broken tree to the hall. Ranger and Lester set the new one in its place, plugged it in, and the lights began to glow.

"Yea! We gots a Christmist tree again!" Gabby clapped as she jumped up and down. Ranger picked her up and hugged her. "This was the bestest Christmist I ever had, Daddy. Me and Ella made Christmist cookies. And me and Uncle Lester went to the Snoopy store and let the pixie's outta that mook's wheels. Then I gots a Hummers from the Merrily Men. And I gots you, and Mommy, and my new baby brudder. Oh…and my favorite was when Grammy Mazur runned over Aunt Gutsy. I don't like Aunt Gutsy. Aunt Gutsy is like the Grinch. But I guess that's okay a 'cause the Grinch is for Christmist. I love you, Daddy. Merry Christmist!" Once again, Ranger felt like he just melted like butter.

"Merry Christmist, Gabby," he whispered before giving her a kiss on the cheek. And, it was his best Christmas too. He hated to admit that it was a toss-up….the birth of his son or Grandma Mazur running over Gussy. No. Hand down, it was having a family of his own. Duh!

**THE END…….for now**


End file.
